Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
