I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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