He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
