She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
