I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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