You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
