we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize