I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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