I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
