girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
