Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
