The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize