If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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