I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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