She said her name was "party"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
