I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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