I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
