This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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