I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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