I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize