your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
