I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
