Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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