Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
