I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
