So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
