I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
