yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
