Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
try to milk me bitch
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