Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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