You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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