you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
