better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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