the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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