dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
