she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
