I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize