So drunk its hurt
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
