me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
