I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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