I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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