We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
