i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize