I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
