Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
