margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
