oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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