I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
