i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
