I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
