If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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