it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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