Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
