I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
