and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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