guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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