Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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