The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
