whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
