Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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