The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
