If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
